EyeoreAnxiety is a fear problem. Instead of living from a position of basic trust, you are operating from a “flight, fight or freeze” position. This is because you had an early, formative experience of trauma that taught you that you need to be hyper vigilant to survive.

You are using coping skills that are no longer relevant to the current situation (the original danger has passed). Yet you are in the “devoted habit” of looking over your shoulder, perhaps controlling other people, situations and yourself to a degree that causes you all kinds of new discomfort.

What kind of trauma can do this? It can be anything from an early experience of being criticised, loved conditionally, abandoned or neglected, to forms of physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse. In this we include emotional incest (being overwhelmed by a parent’s unmet dependency needs, and acting as a surrogate parent).

These events can happen in well-meaning families, as a product of circumstance, or because parents are struggling with their own unworked-through early experiences (the repetition compulsion). At CHANGE MATTERS we are not interested in blame or persecution, merely in breaking the cycle and setting you free. Forgiveness comes when you realise human fallibility – and your greatest weakness becomes your greatest strength when you embrace your own vulnerability.

There are easy ways to retrain yourself so that you live in a condition of profound trust – we will show you how. With daily application, a kind of neural rewiring occurs in your brain and a state of ease and surrender permeates your life. Something to look forward to.

 

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